Plot
Let’s dive into the plot of the not-so-anticipated sequel, “What Happens in the Mountains Should Stay in the Mountains Part 2.”
Picture this: a motley crew of characters, each more eccentric than the last, trapped in a mountain lodge while a storm rages outside. There’s the washed-up rock star who’s seen better days, the novelist with writer’s block, and, of course, the mysterious Turkish diplomat who’s always listening to that peculiar podcast, “Charming Noise,” which seems to predict events with eerie accuracy.
As the storm intensifies, so do the shenanigans. The rock star tries to compose a comeback hit but ends up creating a jingle for the local ski shop. The novelist finds inspiration, not for the next great American novel, but for a series of haikus about snow. And the Turkish diplomats? Busy decoding secret messages from the podcast, convinced it’s a spy network communicating in code.
Amidst the chaos, a love triangle emerges between the lodge owner, the sous-chef, and the resident St. Bernard (who, let’s face it, is the real star of the show). Throw in a couple of bumbling thieves trying to steal the world’s largest pinecone, and you’ve got a sequel that begs the question: why?
That Would have been a better movie that this movie maleficence; unfortunately, none of that did happen in this film. It’s like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. The Turkish Diplomats, bless their hearts, they took a gander at the follow-up, not the original—because, my friends, that’s as hard to find as an honest man in a politician’s convention. But fret not, for diving into the first act would’ve been like throwing more precious minutes into the abyss.
We’ll dub it “What Happens,” sparing me the agony of repeating its godforsaken name. It’s a Bigfoot horror tale, but the only thing horrifying is the film itself. Now, lend your ear to this podcast—35 minutes of your life you’ll never get back, but it beats the celluloid nightmare by a country mile.
We’ve got a heap to chew over, even though there’s no plot to speak of. No story arc to hang your hat on, but hey, they managed to haul their gear across three states. Bless the souls who lugged around those early 2000’s Handicams. And if you’re hankering for a bit of the old ultraviolence, well, there’s some killin’ to be had. So, pull up a chair, pour yourself a drink, and let’s talk about “What Happens.”
So, grab your popcorn and lower your expectations. “What Happens in the Mountains Should Stay in the Mountains Part 2” is a film that promises to take you on a wild ride of absurdity, with a soundtrack that’s a cross between a honky-tonk piano and a cat walking on a harmonica. It’s the perfect flick for those who like their humor like their coffee – dark and slightly bitter. Just remember, when it comes to the mountains, some secrets are best left buried under the snow… along with the plot of this movie.
Hello Boys, thanks for ripping me and my movie a new one. It warmed my heart. We sat out to make one of the worse Bigfoot movies possible. It looks like we accomplished our goals. I got the idea of making this movie after watching the best/worst movie documentary. I had a cheap Panasonic handy cam laying around, bought a few batteries, and started the quest.
You guys couldn’t figure out the plot, neither could I. About three-quarters through the movie, with my batteries running low, I decided I should probably have one. So I just made Buck Swinger the Killer. Thought that may help get PETA (sympathetic Bigfoot lovers) off my ass.
And that was me in the Bigfoot costume. And somehow y’all fell right through the plot hole towards the end. Y’all need to lay off the booze a little bit. That was a reporter who got axed on the boat. The sheriff was killed up in the mountains. He was the one in the shed. Focus. And all those extravagant locations, well, you got to do something when you’re on vacation.
If y’all rented part one from Amazon, it might’ve helped a little. Very little.
You guys are hilarious. Enjoyed the podcast. I made the movie for $150. And I’ve cleared over 3000 bucks on it now. It’s still making 20 bucks a month — 4 years later. Maybe I can get some indoor plumbing soon.
So, keep this in mind boys as I get rich — never underestimate the poor taste of American society.
Not too many people can say they’ve made money in the film industry. Yup, Buck is a legend.
Another thing, how dare you say all the actors look alike in the film, my sister, I mean my wife, will resent that.
It took longer watching this podcast than and it did writing the script.
And let’s get one thing straight, I only watched it once on Tubi. Hell, it was painful enough making it. Plus. They’ll put you in media prison for multiple views. The reason people watch it is for its absurdity. Jesus boys, you guys should know something about that!
Stacey Alexander, a.k.a. Buck Swinger
Mister Alexander,
Wow! Your email was a wonderful surprise. Outside of our 10 or so friends and some weirdos in Canada we did not think anyone would, had or ever will find and listen to our little retirement project much less a film creator. We are honored.
We started watching Bad movies somewhere in the 1980’s when all we could afford were the movies on the $0.49 shelf of a local gas station and fell in love with the quality and production. Decades and thousands of hours I think it’s safe to say we are aficionados of bad movies. And it might surprise you to know that there are millions of people around the world that love them as much as we do. In fact, there is a group in NYC that rents out a theater once a month and shows a double feature. And there are several dozens of groups like that across the world. Like you said “never underestimate the poor taste of American society” we might have ripped the movie, but we enjoyed it. We never want to see it again, but we enjoyed it. Who knows, if other people like us listen to our review you might make $40 a month.
Since that show we have actually talked about the movie a little and all agree with a better plot and some work it could actually be a great movie. Anyway, we thank you for the movie and your comments and was wondering if perhaps sometime during season 3 of our stupid little show you would be interested in being interviewed?
Thank you again for wasting your time and listening to us in the first place.
Ahh, I like what I hear. You guys have more enthusiasm than a group of freshman lesbians at an our girls college.
Sure, I’ll run my mouth off with y’all. But please, let’s don’t do it during Happy Hour.
That’s good info about those “terrible movie theaters” … Buck Swinger may be a star someday. So far, I’ve had 2 pretty good looking girls —some decent strange, I mean strangers, that wanted my picture taken with them.
They didn’t want my autograph. (Or my phone number) But they said they loved the flick and found it funny. They, along with some friends watched it several times —- they were probably fantasizing about Buck — and how they wanted to murder him.
Anyway, let me know about your podcast. I’m all in.
(I have iOS stuff laying around everywhere)
Sjalexandertrader@yahoo.com