
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – 1977

THE TURKISH DIPLOMATS PRESENT CHARMING NOISE: A MOVIE REVIEW OF “EMPIRE OF THE ANTS” – WHEN NATURE DECIDED TO EAT US ALL AND SOMEHOW MADE IT BORING
Friends, countrymen, and survivors of the drive-in apocalypse—brace yourselves. The ants have arrived, and they are here to take what is rightfully theirs.

The Turkish Diplomats—your most devoted connoisseurs of cinematic catastrophes and deeply suspect artistic choices—have once again stared directly into the abyss and returned with a report. This time, it’s Empire of the Ants (1977), a film that dares to ask, “What if ants were huge, homicidal, and really bad at special effects?”

Yes, we’re diving headfirst into this unholy spectacle, featuring the legendary Joan Collins—who spends the entire movie looking like she just realized her agent is going to be fired the second she gets back to civilization. The premise? A sleazy real estate scam goes sideways when a batch of toxic waste turns everyday ants into towering, mind-controlling overlords. The result? A terrifying glimpse into a future where mankind is enslaved by insects, or at the very least, some deeply unconvincing papier-mâché monsters.

But don’t let the premise fool you—this is no ordinary creature feature. This is a disaster wrapped in a farce, stuffed inside a fever dream, and we’re here to pick it apart like deranged entomologists armed with microphones and just enough caffeine to make bad decisions.

On this week’s episode of The Turkish Diplomats present Charming Noise, we break it all down: the hypnotic power of bad dubbing, the existential dread of watching human actors pretend to be controlled by what is very clearly an ant on a fishing line, and the unshakable horror of realizing that somehow, some way, this thing got a theatrical release.

Join us as we dive into the madness, available now on Podbean, Spotify, Apple, and iHeart Radio—because somebody had to watch Empire of the Ants, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be you.
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